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Unhappy Marriage: An Interesting Perspective

Stuck in an Unhappy Marriage? Science Says You Should Stay in It |

8 Feb Let's start with the big data. How many happy marriages do you know? Fewer than 50 percent? Fewer than 30 percent? Would anyone, anyone, venture that the number might lurch beyond 50 percent? I confess that I look at these things from the outside, having thus far forgotten to get married. My number. Problems in marriage are inevitable. Even chronic. And so, at times, is unhappiness. After studying couples where one spouse rated their marriage as unhappy, a research study from a team of family scholars found that 2/3s of the couples who chose to stick it out together reported a significantly happier marriage five. 8 Feb Having a child puts a strain on relationships, but staying in an unhappy marriage is the best thing you can do for its long-term success, according to a study. Researchers found the majority of couples who are unhappy when their first child is born feel fulfilled a decade later. Seven in ten couples stay.

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

If you are just beginning to feel the drift, get started with talking to each other every day. Is it time to leave? We aren't friends and we generally loathe tendencies of the other. So the key to being happy or working towards fixing an unhappy marriage is less selfishness and more love. He just gives his presence rather than the support I need from him.

Fewer than 50 percent? Fewer than 30 percent? Would anyone, anyone, venture that the number might lurch beyond 50 percent?

How To Survive In An Unhappy Marriage

I confess that I look at these things from the outside, having thus far forgotten to get married. I have, though, hopeful words for those who are looking at their marriages and thinking: New research says grin and bear it.

How To Escape An Unhappy Marriage

Perhaps, more accurately, it says that if you bear it, you might end up grinning. Here's one statistic from this research: Of those 70 percent, 68 percent claim to be happy 10 years later. Twenty-seven percent of these parents rate themselves "extremely happy," a self-description that drier sorts might find "extremely dubious.

Still, ultimate happiness is some reward for painful endurance. It's a little like training for a marathon, suffering through it all, and discovering after 24 miles of the grueling race that you've suddenly found a second wind. Harry Benson, the research director behind the project offered this thought: Most marriages have their unhappy moments, but apart from the fortunately extremely rare cases where the relationship involves abuse, most couples can work through the difficulties to be happy later on.

Benson recommends regular date nights.

How To Survive In An Unhappy Marriage

But regular shouldn't mean dull or predictable. And, if you keep these date nights exciting, you'll have a 14 percent better chance of your marriage lasting. Naturally, these statistics will offer boundless hope to many young lovers approaching Valentine's Day. They will surely feel more confident about taking the leap toward betrothal and having faith that any extreme words uttered might still have meaning in 10 years' time.

Oh, one other small detail. This research -- which looked at data from 10, parents -- was undertaken by the Marriage Foundation.

17 Signs You're In An Unhappy Marriage - Signs You Should Get a Divorce

This charitable organization "refutes and tackles the myths that persuade too many people that marriage is 'just a piece of paper' and advances the uncontroversial and positive case that the commitment inherent in getting married provides the most durable arrangement for couples and so also for their children.

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No spouse likes to be talked about in that way. Detaching means be light and polite Being polite helps avoid those same old arguments. Yet be cautious of your selective memory. When you view your marriage as merely an investment of time, and use that time as a justification for staying in something that is no longer healthy, you only hurt and demean yourself.

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Staying in an unhappy marriage could be the best thing you do, new study suggests

Chris Matyszczyk advises clients about advertising and marketing through his company Howard Raucous. You should hang in there, says science. The opinions expressed here by Inc.