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It was fast, and efficient, and that was okay. I was going to leave now. I let him kiss me that night. And I noticed when I stopped worrying so much about how I looked, I could lose myself more in how I felt.
If you are single, you might think that getting sober will solve some of the romantic problems that you had when you were actively abusing alcohol and drugs. No more chemically-induced rages or crying fits triggered by being drunk.
No more staggering or falling on your face.
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Early sobriety is full of unexpected feelings, and you might be overwhelmed by the depth and intensity of those feelings. Dating is full of hopes and expectations. As an addict, you are in the habit of looking for something—or someone—outside yourself to make you feel better.
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The greatest gift you can give yourself in early sobriety is time. Take your time when it comes to dating. You are still healing from the wreckage of the past. At some point you may want to date someone who is not in recovery.
You may experience having someone lose interest in dating you when they find out that you are in recovery. Dating other people in recovery has a different set of challenges.
You may have different beliefs than the other person about what is important when it comes to recovery. For example, someone in recovery whom you are dating might tell you that you should go to more meetings or different meetings. This is one good reason to postpone dating.
Most people recommend that newly sober people who are single wait at least a year before dating. The key to everything, including dating, is acceptance.
Acceptance of yourself as a single person comes from taking the time to have a relationship with yourself. You need to get to know yourself on a sober level. Spend time finding out who you are and what makes you tick. Which activities make you enjoy life and appreciate the gift of sobriety?
Oh, baby, you are screwed, I thought, but I didn't say this. Two years without drinking, or smoking, or fucking. Then my knees spaghettied underneath here as he walked toward me once, and I realized: It was a revelation to me how unappealing men were when they were drunk. The answer was yes.
What are your goals and dreams? Having a relationship with yourself is the foundation on which recovery is built. Call today to find out if Lucida is the right choice for you or your loved one.